“No one ever tells you that bravery feels like fear.” – Mary Kate Teske
There are several reasons I haven’t written in awhile – busy schedule, lack of dedication to writing, feelings of pointlessness, but here I am, showing back up to the page to share my thoughts with the world. Although I have done some travel this summer, it has only been the brief times in nature that I have felt the pull to return to this blog. In June, Ken and I bought a used horse trailer that had been converted into a mobile bar. Although that might have been a more profitable route, we are outfitting it once again to become a mobile bookstore. Any free time has been devoted to starting a small business, no easy task. For years, Ken and I have talked about opening an independent bookstore “one day,” and this summer we decided to start mobile, and relatively small. Mary Kate Teske’s quote I used above has been pinned to my quote board for about a year, and it has never felt more true than now. Anxiety about not recouping the start up costs, fear of not having read enough books, not ordering the right novels, etc have created a storm in my mind that have kept me up, literally, all night. Luckily, two family trips in July forced me to get back out into the woods and gain some perspective.
Every year, we take a trip to Smoke Hole, West Virginia, and camp in Big Bend Campground. The sites are in the base of a canyon, next to the West Branch of the Potomac River. The mountains shoot up almost 365 degrees around the campsite and I always get a sense of being cradled by them. On a hot July morning, Ken and I decided to take a walk along the river, and ended up veering right off the road when we saw a trail. In flip flops, we strolled on a well-worn path 5 feet above the swollen river. It was the first “hike” I had been on in months. Spotting a rock that jutted out over the water, we stopped there for probably an hour to sit still and think. Listening to the river, the rustling leaves and nothing else cleared both of our heads. While we let our minds calm, the clutter of anxiety thinking subsided and in that moment both Ken and I had, what I describe as, downloads from the universe. With only an hour or so walking and reflecting in nature, as soon as we returned home to work, my mind once again became cluttered, anxious, limited.
“Your life will always be a hum of things. The cloak will always be with you. In order to return home to yourself, and become intimate with the unaffected presence within you, you must choose how to live alongside the spinning static around you.” – Sarah Blondin on Insight Timer
We spent this past week in Watkins Glen, New York on another family vacation. The first three days of which I sat in the hotel room and worked remotely. While work stress accumulated, the bookshop trailer renovations were unexpectedly postponed, my mood plummeted. By Wednesday afternoon, I was completely stir crazy. The heat hadn’t broken yet, but the boys, Ken and his cousin Nick, were all up to hike Watkins Glen State Park with me to see the 17 waterfalls in the early evening after I had finished working. We drove from the small town alongside the lake, up to the upper part of Watkins Glen State Park near the start of the Gorge Trail. Starting this way, our hike began by descending Jacobs Ladder, a series of stone stairs switchbacks that take hikers to the waters edge. Glen Creek is the narrow strip of water at the base of the gorge. Although today the creek’s flow is controlled by a dam, at one point the rush of water cut the deep gorge. Cascades, waterfalls, and plunge pools all formed due to the various rates at which the different types of rocks erode. Walking down the stairs felt like descending into a damp basement, creating some cooling relief from the humid 90 plus degree temperatures. The trail is popular, crowded and has various marked points along a mile or so. We walked over rock bridges, behind a waterfall, went high above the creek, and down next to it. At the end of the Gorge Trail, we turned left to climb up to the North Trail, but ended up connecting back to the Gorge Trail near “Lovers Lane,” rather than staying up on the ridge back to the parking lot. This allowed us to once again experience Jacobs Ladder – this time as an ascent.
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” -Maya Angelou
The hike was brief, but this time it was the beauty of the gorge that snapped me out of my funk. From the various layers of stone that created walls, to the small and large waterfalls, it was all a reminder that I feel the most “myself” in nature. Living on a flat coast, it is a challenge to find the time to hike, but there is no reason that nature walks aren’t just as good to help me clear the chaos in my head and find peace. I am trying so hard to read and listen to all the audiobooks I possibly can before our mobile bookstore opens, but I know there are 2 books I absolutely have to re-read. The Comfort Crisis by Micheal Easter and The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. I might have even less time than before with starting my own business, but I know that prioritizing hiking, nature, writing and centering are the key to my success.
-Liz
I love that Park! I was there back in June. The picture of the frog with the boy in the background is great!