“If you are under the impression you have already perfected yourself, you will never rise to the heights you are no doubt capable of.” -Kasu Ishiguro
This past week I went down to Roanoke, VA for work. I decided to hike to the Roanoke Star early one morning before my first meeting. My coworkers who live in the area know that I love to hike, and have repeatedly told me to check it out. Erected in 1949, the star was originally meant to be a temporary holiday decoration, but like the one stray ornament that never made its way to my attic, the Star remained past the holiday season. It is the largest manmade, free standing star in the world and it is lit every night. At 6:00 am on Thursday morning, I drove into the Mill Mountain Park in my rented sedan and nearly took the undercarriage out. Word of advice, if you’re not in an SUV, drive up the small hill on the left side into the parking lot to avoid giant potholes and getting stuck in loose rocks. The start of the trail to the summit of Mill Mountain is already pretty high, so the total elevation gain is only 813 feet, but you’re doing that all in a little under 2 miles. All Trails says the average time to hike the 3.7 mile trail is 2 hours, so I knew I would have to hustle to get to my morning meeting in time.
I am currently reading Stealing Fire by Steven Kotler and Jamie Wheal, which is about how humans can reach flow states, or ecstasis in their terminology, by various methods in order to reach peak performances. While the book began with a lot of research findings about LSD, micro-dosing and Burning Man, eventually I got to parts that I could actually relate to. Since there are multiple ways to get to this “state,”and also experienced in different ways, the authors came up with four categories to know when one reaches ecstasis. “…the four categories we’ve zeroed in on are content neutral. They’re a strictly phenomenological description (how these states make you feel) rooted in shared neurobiology.” I was intrigued to learn if I could intentionally put myself into a flow state before harder tasks. Hitting a good flow in writing is like running … in my dreams that is, beautiful and effortless … and infrequent. Thankfully I don’t need psychedelics to get into this state (don’t worry mom, I’m middle aged and never tried any) – deep meditation, Reiki and hiking are three ways in which I can get there.
Selflessness “The paracortex of the brain connected to the self and our internal voices telling us who we are (and all the negative things we are) shut down and we can experience “collective awareness”
When I started the hike I was a little apprehensive. It’s been awhile since I’ve been out by myself and I actually brought a knife with me, which was not needed. My next falsely fearful thought was that maybe there were bears near Roanoke, so as I began to walk up the gravel road that starts the trail I was talking to myself outloud. I didn’t have much to say so I actually played music on my phone, without earbuds, something I never do. I felt bad about playing music for the non-existent people who may have cared if they had been there, but then those thoughts faded away as I walked up, making sure to keep a good pace up the initial incline.
I’ve been quiet lately, and not just on WordPress, but all facets of digital interactions. I took a break after feeling burned by those who used my stories for gossip. After licking my wounds and detaching from who (and what) made me feel ashamed I am ready to open back up. This summer has been packed with a lot of travel – some fun, some work – and I missed some good opportunities to write. On the path to the star I decided to write about this hike, share it, and open back up. The trail veers from the gravel road, and makes a right, narrowing and flattening a bit as you walk under a thick canopy. Hiking has often been a launching pad for blog posts, and it makes sense now, that it is a way in which my ego is quieted enough to allow unfettered thoughts come through without judgment.
Timelessness: “total inability -or interest- to perceive time”
I did need to be back to the hotel by 8 in order to get to my meeting on time, but I forgot about time out in the woods. I didn’t realize I would cross a road, which surprised me a bit. After that, the trail incline increased and so did the rocks and the roots. It felt like so many other trails I have been on, and the sense of familiarity brought back memories, good and bad, of so many hikes I’ve done over the years. I spotted patches of orange sunlight on the ground from some sunrise rays filtering through the canopy. Again my mind wandered to other early morning hikes when I saw the tangerine rays of the early morning slanting in just that way, and I just felt a sense of permanence. I took a picture of two logs on the ground that looked like they could be burning embers and marveled that this would happen every morning. It’s not cloudy whether or not anyone is there to witness it. I had another moment of almost deja-vu when the trail ahead of me curved up and to the right, almost like being at the bottom of a C.
Effortlessness: “things just feel right and click”
At 6:33 am a deer startled me, and I took it’s picture knowing that I was more afraid of it than it was of me. I didn’t realize I was so close to the summit, but just ahead was another road, a parked car, and a freaking giant star. At the top I took some pictures, looked out over Roanoke, but didn’t stay long. I decided to jog back down the trail. I’m not a strong runner, but I am training for a race, so I figured it would be good to get some running mileage in. Down I jogged, slowing to walk only when a few mountain bikers passed me, or when it was so rocky I feared whipping out. It did actually feel effortless, granted running downhill is a lot easier, but even the flat spots felt great. The descent didn’t take too long, thanks to the increased pace, and I was back to the little rental car in what felt like no time.
Richness: “when we remove the ego, we allow the subconscious to take over, which is much faster at processing data, and we feel one with the world. We connect with the world in a new and different way, which is richer”
Post hike, my first meeting was at a restaurant luckily since I was famished. My GPS kept cutting in and out, and I missed my turn. It re-routed me way out of the way, but by doing so, I passed an Appalachian Trail marker and realized I was driving over a road crossing on the trail. I got so excited to see the AT in my post-hike euphoria. On the way home, I continued to cross over, under and in close proximity to the AT. My desire to ditch the rental car and wonder back into the woods was intense. Stopping on Route 66 for gas, the GPS re-routed me away from DC, and surprisingly said it was faster to take 340, which brought me right to Harpers Ferry, where my dreams of one day completing the whole trail began. It’s no wonder I blog after I hike. I’m an orophile, “a person who finds peace and serenity and connects with themselves more deeply in mountainous settings; a lover of mountains.” Driving around Harpers Ferry I thought back to a car my mom had in high school; a dark gray Saab 9000 Turbo. This car was 1990s big, heavy, and powerful. I loved driving it, especially with it’s turbo engine. I quickly learned to downshift before applying pressure to the right pedal. I’d go from coasting, to back pressing against the seat while my stomach did a little thrilled flip, acceleration. I swear you could feel the internal parts of the car through it’s pedals. My star hike on Mill Mountain did this for me, especially trying out some trail running. Reconnecting with hiking, especially while reading Stealing Fire made me realize a few things. First, in order to get to a flow state I must meditate, get Reiki done and hike way more frequently than I’ve been doing. It is my way to accelerate to more productivity, ease in writing and work towards some of my larger goals.
-Liz